If Life Were a Drama

Dramatis Personae

Matt: First appears on-stage as the grudging IT of anyone who can claim relation or acquaintance of any sort. He's got a ready, slightly crooked smile, older-brotherly advice, and offers companionship when it is most needed. He's also just a little too smart for his own good --"Does anyone want to play chess with me?"

Jeremy: Once the child who "only like[d] cheese on Mondays," not much has been lost with ascent to adulthood. His latest harebrained schemes include evading campsite fees by pitching a tent on an 11-foot inflatable raft (how about that sleepwalking?), and planned decimation of the nearby carp population, thereby reaping a triple profit (financially, environmentally and angling-ally.)

Curt, Jen & Phillip: The "tenants" of the house who are soon revealed to be much more. They're a ready support group for distressed students, advisors in all areas of life (the essentials, the practicals, and the frivolous), and always ready for a culinary adventure or late-night talk. Phillip is quite obviously the live-in comedian: his impersonations & suggestions ("can we put socks on the fishy?") and even his speech (how does a seminarian's son say "truck"?) will bring laughter no matter how down you can be.

Steve, Laurie & Co.: the family who's distant geographically, but close in every other way. Laurie's quick wit, rapid thinking and unending activity leaves the watcher with the urge to rewind and replay her in slow-motion. Steve and she possess a whole family of little gremlins/comedians (the pictures I could post! :)

Jonathan: Of course you've heard of the superhero "Margarine Man"? That's him. He's also Jalopy Jon, the Jungle Jop who devours live and flipping fish. He's the energizer bunny who zigzags the road others struggle to finish, and the foreign correspondent who's epistles are much appreciated (hint hint!)

Mother: Well, she's just that: motherly. Still preparing tea for breakfast, brown-bag" lunches and made-from-scratch suppers, still scolding about messy rooms and socks left inside-out, the way she pampers these kids one wonders if her children ever really grew up?

Dad: A former third-grade teacher with an affinity for third-grade humour and hinkpinks". Also an avid naturalist with an encyclopedic knowledge of birds, trees, and the "smaller" wonders of the universe. He's got an open ear, a wonderfully absorbant shoulder, and an overflowing fountain of wisdom.

So there you have it: the people God's put in my life. The more I get to know them, the stranger they get... and the stranger they get, the more I want to know them :)
Love you lots!

Public Safety Announcement: Mango Poisoning

Well who could have guessed that something so lush and sweet, the very essence of "tropical beauty" itself could leave in its wake an dermatological disaster? Chrissy, Abby and I certainly didn't as we slurped it in our delicious smoothies... nor did I the next few days as I had a daily mango, even though small and menacing bumps began to appear around my lips. However, when Sunday brought hampered speech and the complete inability to smile, it was apparent that something was up. I did a little research, the findings weren't terribly encouraging...

• "A red, itchy and often blistering weeping rash develops."


• "The resulting horrible rash kept me in my apartment for a week"


• "Without giving you too much info, I have nasty puss dripping blisters on my face (okay, maybe a little too much info)"
  

So here are the facts for you. Mangos are in the same family as poison sumacs, poison oak and poison ivy. Apparently it's the mango skin that causes reaction, so wash your hands after preparing it, and don't eat it!

Still, I'm thankful for frank friends and relatives who don't bother to soften the truth with tact "Have you gotten a lip job? Botox or collagen?" but cast it all in a humorous light "Circus makeup? You missed the upper half of your face!"

Life in the Zoo

Wild things are happening at the VD house. You think I'm kidding? Well here's a shot of the primates cage...

With the biggest monkey ever right in the middle :)

Warning: this is thoroughly disturbing

Heard today in class: "There has been widespread speculation that human matter was used to make soap during the Nazi regime. The claims are probably false, but the concept is horrific." --my professor

Said today in class:"Let's not forget that human matter IS used in many cosmetics, even today: aborted babies may be present in the very shampoo you washed your hair with this morning."

Utter silence... let's just change the topic.

PS. To avoid these products, look for "collagen" or "collagen-enriched" on the label --you can read all about it here, or simply google "aborted baby cosmetic" Maybe it's time to graduate from a mere "not tested on animals" cosmetic campaign to a "baby-free" cosmetics campaign!

Winston... Your comment made me laugh twice over :)
Thanks for the picture, definitely! I guess I should watch my use of Google Images :)
As for the survey, let me caution you to "always read the fine print" --the study was conducted on one woman, namely myself. I am hardly "some good ol’ boys group" popularizing the barefoot and pregnant housewife!
I am, however, thoroughly disgusted with the feminism that has permeated every part of my education at my college. It seems to be the secular gospel, and its evangelists are cunning, determined and, ironically, thoroughly intolerant of any alternative views.
I couldn’t help but notice this when a paper of mine was docked for an off-hand statement that "women in general possess less physical strength than men do". Of course, silly me... That’s as ridiculous as saying "caucasians tend to be lighter of skin than African-Americans."
Academic antics aside, while I don't actually suffer from an "irresistable pull" towards the kitchen, I do hope to be married some day... with a child... and yes, even in a kitchen. But make no mistake; it will be no imprisonment but the highest calling a woman could pursue.

Feminism Debunked

Feminists have long promoted the belief that female domesticity is purely a result of cultural conditioning. They also maintain that, given the chance, most women would choose education over and above home-making. However, a recent, groundbreaking study in female behaviour has the potential to expose these claims for the myths they are.
The results are nothing short of earth-shattering. Among the most notable statistics:

• 100% of those surveyed would rather cook dinner than engage in educational duties
  
• Even menial jobs like cleaning washrooms, scrubbing showers and changing dirty diapers (!!) are "way more fun" than composing essays
  
• All surveyed persons reported an "unnatural and irresistible" pull away from their books towards the kitchen
  

Demographics: ages 18-24, attending post-secondary educational institutions.
Number of women surveyed: 1

As usual, creativity flows away while there are essays to be written... in the opposite direction of course. Back to the Maoist Era...

CUT TO:

THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM. It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the wind whistles. And the waves pound. And suddenly it's all gone ominous.
INGIO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI squinting back, trying desperately to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths. THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM. And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous. Only now it's eerie too. Then -- The moon slips through and -- Inigo was right -- something is very much there. A sailboat. Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good distance behind them, but it's coming quickly, closing the gap.

INIGO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI staring at the other boat.

VIZZINI (explaining with as much logic as he can muster) Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters.

...Hehe, good times! This is from a loooong time ago, but it's well-worth the memories...

Today.

Today I am illiterate. I stare at a blank screen and, in an effort to fill its void, I babble and froth and spew forth useless nothings. I step back, look at my work in hopes of finding a reality happier than its experience, but find the opposite has happened... I actually wrote that? But here, at the near-end of the ordeal, suddenly the words tumble out.

Today I was surrounded by little faces, young faces... faces that changed as the weather did; a little sunshine here, a few clouds there, a clap of thunder and then a radiant light... And I fought to ignore them and turn to my work; a hopeless task really. But how awesome to have those shining faces...

Today I felt the flowing love of an awesome family. And throughout it, the love of an awesome God. He is good.

But this is all quite futile, because "today" is now yesterday, and the actual "today" looks to be a long and tiring one.

If I’m illiterate, there is always the shoulders of others to lean on.
"This good day, it is a gift from you. The world is turning in its place because You made it to.I lift my voice To sing a song of praise On this good day." –Fernando Ortega

Do It Anyways

By Mother Teresa (although no one is quite sure of the real author)

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Now no one can look at the sun, bright as it is in the skies after the wind has swept them clean. Out of the north he comes in golden splendor; God comes in awesome majesty. The Almighty is beyond our reach and exalted in power; in his justice and great righteousness, he does not oppress. Job 37:21-23

Presenting... Miss Emily to the Blogworld!

Hello all! (or whoever checks this increasingly sporadic place :) Just wanted you to know that my very-favourite-eldest-neice (:P) Emily is now on cyberspace! Be sure to look her up and drop a comment :)

Job Searching: What Not To Do

Well, I haven’t got any “do’s” to offer you, but I think I’ve got the “don’ts” covered!

• Don’t ask your off-the-wall former manager for a letter of reference:
• First attempt: To Whom It May Concern: You are about to embark upon the greatest risk of your life…
• Then: We are still mourning the loss of our most controversial employee...
• And: I am pleased to offer a reference of character for Ruth VD. Ruth worked as customer reception and service clerk for about 20 years (I know she only looks 22 or so)…
• (for the record, he did pull through in his last draft –thanks Paul :)

• Don’t apply for a job selling something you are fundamentally opposed to. Example: The irony of getting an interview at a cell-phone store. “Would you be interested in a ball&chain—I mean, a cell-phone?
  
• Be sure to polish up on your grade 4 math skills. (Does ANYONE really understand long-division anyway??)
• Don’t let Freudian Slips mess up an application form. For instance, while filling out the position applied for section, don’t think to yourself “wouldn’t it be ridiculous if I put “manager” down” because you just might find "manager" written in clear, indelible ink.

The search continues...

Regarding the Recent Non-Action on this Blog...

Term papers. Enuff said.

PS. I get my life

back this weekend :)

The Case of the Re-Appearing Handprints

Or “The Ongoing Saga of Renovative Disasters”

You might remember my earlier mention of the chaotic state of my room. I’ve been working hard to remove all traces of it; first came the scraping and scrubbing, then puttying up the –teethmarks??— and sanding. Finally, though, I had it all prepped and ready to prime. Well, those ghastly handprints keep reappearing!
Next step: super heavy-duty toxin-loaded oil-based primer :DA "friend" getting caught up in the spirit of the room... (no fears, this is not primer/fume induced)

Zwolle, Pennies and Dutchness

Here's a little bit of history and a good shot of Dutch character... My mother was born in Zwolle, Netherlands. As such, she would be known as a "Blauwvinger", or Bluefinger, a legend that stretches back to time immemorable...

Once upon a time, Zwolle found itself in the mortifyingly awkward and thoroughly un-Dutch position of being cash-strapped. Their only recourse was to sell their beautiful church bells to the nearby (and rival) town of Kampen... and then the haggling began. Many days, words and curses later, a deal was arrived at: Kampen would purchase the bells at a steep price, but would be able to decide what the method of payment would be.

The payment arrived soon after, in wagonfulls of pennies! Zwolle was thoroughly humiliated, disgusted and (predictably) suspicious. They counted every last penny. The copper oxide from the pennies made their hands blue, hence the name "Blauwvinger."

Truly an honourable heritage ;)

The Catch-22 of Democracy

“In politics, the question seldom arises to do the ideal right. The best that is generally to be expected is to attain a certain object, and for the accomplishment of this object, many things have been done which are questionable, and… could not be approved of.” –Wilfrid Laurier

Poor Laurier; he was a puppet, longing to go one place but maneuvered elsewhere by a determined people. He’s known as a compulsive compromiser, and compromise he did; usually at the expense of his principles. But how different is he from every other Canadian prime minister? In fact, how different is he than any democratically-elected politician?
Imagine, if you will, that the rare specimen, the principled politician, comes to power. He will soon be forced into a horrible dilemma; should he act according to his principles or according to the symbolic contract he signed onto? For “pure” democracy, that is, rule of the people by the people, demands that he follow popular opinion. Now, either road he chooses will be unprincipled.
Now, throw media and politics into the mix, and democracy quickly degenerates into a boiling cauldron of licentiousness, repression and tyranny (by majority or lobbyists, depending upon the degree of liberalism.) You see, democracy is doomed from its very start because it rests upon a flawed foundation; the supremacy of human reason. Hence, the need for a limited democracy, one that rests upon a biblically-based constitution.
--And now maybe I should get back to what this term paper is really about :)--

The Rest of the Story...

Lest you all think of me as a great philanthropist, let me give you the ulterior motive for going down to SC; to see Curt, Jen and Phillip :) Phillip could be a trip in himself; he's such a character! He's in the mimic stage right now; if you're brushing your teethe, he's sure to be too; if you're shaving, doing pushups... driving (yes, driving! this little boy drives both toy and real cars!) Now I was going to do a post entirely devoted to Phillip, but Chrissy has done an admirable job of that. And I was going to post some pictures, but my capable sister-in-law has done that :) The blogging world is getting delightfully crowded with friends :)


This is Jen, me and a charming Southern gentleman we met in downtown Greenville. He was a bit chilly and had a steely manner, but they tell me he is a monumental figure down there ;) Actually, SC is known for its wonderful warmth and friendliness, and the reputation is well-merited. It may (hopefully!) be a result of the Christian tradition there; churches there are as common as our Tim Hortons! They even have minor traffic jams on Sundays and Wednesday nights.
What does this picture remind you of? Naturally, I thought of Tolkein's Old Man Willow. Way too predictable though; Curt knew I was going to say that before I did :)

And a memorable evening at the park --unfortunately the camera card was quickly filled :S
Many thanks for your hospitality, Curt and Jen! The delicious meals, wonderful company, and evenings of fun won't be forgotten :)

Down in Soowwth Carolahhhhna

--2:30 am, Saturday the 18th: a fifteen-seater maroonish van quietly rolls out of a farm lane and heads south. The morning is dark, but one can just make out a balding gentlemen behind the wheel, and nine figures buckled into various seats. All is quiet; no one speaks, and the only sound is made by wheels sloshing through snow.
--4:00 pm, Saturday the 24th: a maroon van lurches down the freeway, rocking back and forth and bouncing on its axles. It pulls into Lona Station, careens down a farm lane and skids to a stop. Ten kids burst from the van, and a fire immediately erupts.
What caused this massive transformation? The answer lies across a week and 1500 miles...

Intrepid Mr. Westy was the brave chaperone/leader/chief hooligan of the group; the already scanty hairs may have dwindled a bit across those seven days.
The group was heavy on the Westy factor; Dave, Tim and Lydia came too. Then there were the Luit.s; Sarah, Kara and Derek. Mike VM, Scott K. and myself completed the party.
Here's a picture of the newly-purchased seminary building. It was built in the 40s, I think.
The guys' job was to surface-grind the mortar for re-mortaring.

The girls were to clean and rescue as many bricks as possible for re-use.
Things got interesting when we discovered that many of the bricks were set, not in mortar (as any sane builder would do), but in cement... eighty year old cement :)
A definite selling factor for working were the great JIG lifts... and whereas in Canada you might need special training to go up 10 feet, in SC the sky is the limit (figuratively speaking.)

More toys...
Our most valued worker there in the centre :)

All in all a great trip! Thanks to the Westys for their planning, driving and these pictures (some day I will buy a camera!) Sarah L. has many more pictures on her blog. And I haven't mentioned the other, huge motivation for my going down there: to see Curt, Jen and Phillip. More on that in the next post :)